This felt more like a very rough first draft than a completed piece of writing ready for publishing. There were some obvious errors, mostly incorrect word choices or confusing punctuation, rather than spelling errors. But if that's all it was, I could have looked past that.
I was not a fan of how the POV changes worked. I don't mind the trend of alternating sections between the two main characters, and having them "titled" as such. Except the author didn't always STAY in that assigned POV. The most obvious one was switching into the best friend's POV for several chapters in one of Cliff's chapters. I also hate the trend of the Heroine's sections being in first person and the Hero's in third person.
The two main characters came off very flat, very one dimensional. Which is disappointing, because the author had built up some good background stories for both of them. But then pretty much never touched those backgrounds again. Amelia's background had SO MUCH POTENTIAL, but other than uprooting her so she could be placed in the same setting as Cliff, it served no purpose in the story, it didn't even seem to affect her personality or actions at all.
Cliff's background was worked into the story and plot better but felt very forced. I didn't find him appealing at all. I didn't find Amelia's character appealing either. The author kept saying they had this immediate spark, immediate connection. But that was never adequately shown to the reader. I never once felt any intimacy between the two main characters. The best intimacy was between her sister and her husband. Their kitchen scene was the only redeemable bit in the book and gives me hope that the author does have the ability in her.
I know writing Erotic Shorts is this big thing that is supposed to help writers publish quickly and make decent money. And for a lot of writers, they can make a killing at it. But many writers focus on speed and skimp on quality, and that is what this felt like. It felt like the skeleton of what could be a good plot. But was rushed to publication rather than getting the extra drafts to really do it justice.
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Top reviews from other countries
Ken Graham
Enjoyed this sample - look forward to my next encounter
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 12, 2022