Time Traveling, Savior Cloning, Plus Other Inadvisable Feats
About this ebook
"The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy got me only as far as 42 light-years due west of Alpha Centauri. Mr. Knell's comedy scifi book was cheaper to buy and transported me to an entirely new universe. Mind-altering substances probably had something to do with that though." - Holden Lefront, publisher of Home Opium Poppy Farming Made Simple
Einstein's Theory of Relativity amazingly proved that time is relative, especially so in humorous books. Ipso facto, this comedy scifi book on time is relatively amazing. Preview this and be amazed by this funny action adventure. Written by an applied physics major with decades of time travel experience. In the next twenty years, he plans to travel exactly that same amount of time into the Future!
Egotists beware: getting cloned is considered an inadvisable feat by your doctor - at least in funny novels
"This world would be a better place if there could only be more people like me in it." - the average person on the subject of cloning
"One of you in the world is more than enough." - the rest of humanity on the average person getting himself cloned
Once upon a time, but not in this time, in a comedy adventure dealing intimately with time, a woman could find love in the arms of a robot; a man could find death in the jaws of a genetically engineered lock picking reptile; and the dead could find a reprieve from the boredom of Eternity with the Land of the Living just a collect call away.
The handful of the world's mega-corporations, for which most everyone works, own all the world's nations. No one knows anymore if they're part of a comedy troupe or a future apocalypse.
This funny world of action & adventure connects:
* Professor Harry Dandruff, a wealthy inventor with hair problems and a questionable past
* His six clones with abundant problems of their own
* A run-of-the-mill everyman-loser who's just officially died and has nothing left to unofficially live for
* A humorous, lazy, and leering President of the United States, trying to do the minimum for his legacy in the history books
* A megalomaniac with a fake Ph.D and a plan to control the world's religions by cloning their symbolic mascots
* A comedy rivalry between the Gay Brigade and the Lesbian Lineup for world domination - or world apocalypse
* A secret network of railtimeways spanning the eons
"Time travel is a magnificent way to step into societies and cultures magnitudes more advanced or primitive than your own. Blend in as if you're not even there. Seek to make no difference or impact. Whenever in doubt, just act like 99% of humans in every era since the dawn of humanity, and you'll be just fine." - 83rd Edition of CODES AND ETHICS IN SUSTAINABLE TIME TRAVEL
"In the past, Saviors saved us from our sins. In modern times, Saviors should be able to save us money on insurance premiums, enlightenment workshops, and cellular data services." - addendum to Operation Saviors And Clone
Is the Professor's shady past about to catch up with him?
Decades ago, Professor Dandruff secretly cloned himself, with varying degrees of success, and learned the hard way that living with multiple underachieving clones gets you quite sick of yourself very, very quickly.
Now somehow, a religion entrepreneur knows all and is blackmailing the Professor to travel back in time with him for samples of Mr. Christ's DNA to clone for a new enterprise. In this epochal comedy adventure of literal soul searching, the very fabric of reality and continuity is at the risk of being compromised.
Every President in funny novels learns that carrying the weight of the world for a single day can be murder on the upper back. Professor Harry Dandruff in this novel is about to learn that carrying the weight of the world across a few thousand years can be just plain murder.
The Professor has many accomplished feats to his name. A lot of them are inadvisable. Without a little luck and some dazzling ingenuity ahead and behind him in time, the Professor's next inadvisable feat looks set to be his last.
The best comedy scifi book you've never heard of.
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About the author
Author Doug Knell was born in the Past, lives in the Present, and is working his heinie off to have one hell of a Future.
He earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Applied & Engineering Physics and a Bachelor of Arts in Economics from Cornell University in Ithaca, New York a long, long time ago.
Doug has multiple decades of time-traveling experience. To date though, he's only been successful traveling forward in time. In the last twenty years, he's time-traveled exactly that same amount of time into the Future.
He's never met or cloned any saviors, but he did spend quite a bit of time in India in the mid 1990's meeting savior wannabes who were great at bilking Western devotees out of their savings.
Since 2007, he has made Thailand his home, where he lives with his wife, stepson, and cat, who keep him grounded enough to not engage in any inadvisable feats.